temper in check.

i might have blurted some things out in a manner i dont meant it to be.
yet nonetheless nothing but the truth.

much as my life is mundane & merely monotonous,
i think it sucks when somebody has to tell you that straight into your face.
this really sucks.

not quite the same.

today i awoke with a mild depression. and dementia.
looks like age is really getting on me.
dread dread dread.

lost.

i miss all my friends like anything...

happiness makeover

I guess being stucked at an environment for long, no matter how
comfy it gets, can render one stale & lethargic.
So we human beings DO need some form of inspiration & change
of environment in order to lend to new ideas & chemistry, isnt it?

having said that, there might be some new challenges
in store for me this upcoming new month :)
i hope & i pray! await this space!

exhilaration of the unknown

thanks for every & anyone who bother to check out this dormant-and-close-to-extinction space.

i actually have this queeer thought that it's alright to be missing from each other's lives, spacing out from all possible points of contact, only to realise that i missed my usual company & the ocassional perks & indulges, no matter how insignificant it might appear to some.


like you know, i just see myself running in circles & chasing my own tail. i just cant pretend that i am leading a better-than-good life & act like 'yea, i am doing fine'.

when longing turns unbearable, such is the harsh reality of life.


i just have to keep on dreaming.

people say, things change.
i think, people change.

its no longer innocence, but ignorance.

do i know you, do i know you not?

dreamy over fireflies

its when the toys came alive at night to play.

rail trains running on detachable railway tracks,

mini dinosaurs devouring your childhood fears,

inflatable airships cushioning against black & white nostalgic telly sets with long antenna.

forget about melancholic lovey songs with sounds of regrets,or angsty rappy songs.

fireflies makes me dreamy all over.

Fireflies by Owl City

"I'd like to make myself believe. that planet earth turns slowly.

it's hard to say that i'd rather stay awake when i am asleep.

because my dreams are bursting at the seams."

(catch this vid. its awesome!)

city of wonder

i am in a city of hope & confidence,

duly responsible for building heaps of trust in mankind,

particularly womankind.

------------------------

finally a day off with my favourite girlfriendss!!

all work & no play makes elaine a dull girl!!

off to meet my girlfriends later! so :) like anything!!

practise what you preach.

work has been getting increasingly disheartening, not to mention on various occasions, i thought i might just need a puff like what almost everyone is hanging onto, but eventually decided it certainly wont help things, & i had better not put my lungs at risk. instead i shall stick to my sinful indulgence of bubble tea & chew all the stress away.

these days, i have been taught to be self-motivated, optimistic & henceforth spread these seeds of motivation. it's often wiser to let go of the past, concentrate on the present & plan for the future. but now who is there to motivate me when i needed it the most?

uh huh, talk is so cheap.

still counting down: 20 mths & 15 days

drowned.

while i break into occasional lapses of emo thoughts,
i made some silent convictions to:

complain less,
work more,
curse less,
stop gorging in the wee hours,
and refrain from sleeping at some obscene hours then cab to work the next morn.

enough.

it's always like this.
you know life is short.
and you know at the back of ur head,
you harbour the biggest dreams alive.
yet each day, you are chocked full of things to accomplish.
and the big dreams are floating like castles in the air.

drowning i am. yes, when i cant even swim.